Life has never been easy to me lately. I know this is just my feeling, my childishness to reject the point that Allah has never tested His servants with what "they" are incapable of. I know that I have the strength to face all these problems. its not really a problem anymore, as i have realized, long before this already, friends will not stay. why do i say this? simple. we create the bond of friendship and we too can untie the bond, break it into pieces. oh how tragic.
Forcing myself to accept so-called-strangers into my life has been my routine. Everyday, I hope that people are going to love me as how I accept them. Shit. I try to hard. I think that I have crossed the line. Oh God. I realize that others won't be too much as how I am now. They would not let those who hurt you few times, and let them to hurt you again, and you sitting there like waiting to be hurt again and again. Piece of rubbish, yes I am.
Still I don't care. I don't believe in karma but qada' and qadar. Whatever I'm pursuing, it's for my benefit, for my own. It doesn't matter how many times I'm being shot, I'll get back to life. I know, Allah will help those who try and do not just let it go.
Hey buddy, don't be surprised that one day, the one that you frequently stab will be the one who you will frequently looking for. Just remember that we are not always be at the top.
Ok. smile. :-)
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